We Don't Need No Stinking Resolutions.

So, here we are in the midst of a Shiny New Calendar Year, and never having been one for resolutions, I still feel the need to post a few, ah, hopeful guidelines for 2008.

I would like to be less theoretical in my crafting this year. In other words, I would like to do a lot more hands-on crafting than hands-off craft-ogling on the magical interwebs. There are always more free patterns and clever ideas, but I only have a limited amount of time at my disposal.

Also, I would really, really, really like to finish that stinking endless sweater, whether it fits or not. I just want it to be done. I have been working on it for more than half a year and although I am bored out of my mind with it, I feel sure that I am about to turn a corner with it.

And now for the kicker: There is...The Stash (tm).

I'm not too much of a yarn hoarder, thankfully -- though I do have some orphan skeins here and there. It's the fabric that I have a problem with currently.

I used to keep a lot less non-specific-project fabric around, mostly because I had extremely limited storage space. (I lived in a 286 square feet efficiency for about five years. Yep, that's not a typo -- it's probably smaller than your bedroom.) Now that I have slightly more space, I've allowed my stash to proliferate to an all new high (or low, depending on your perspective).

It's out of hand, for real.

But I really like almost all of my fabric -- there are only two pieces of that I'm really willing to donate. So the only choice is to USE the blasted stuff.

So there they are, my three crafting goals for 2008:
1) Less "research," more actual crafting.
2) Finish the f*cking sweater.
3) Use up as much of the fabric stash as possible.

Whether these lofty ambitions are achievable, I don't really know. I have a long history of procrastination and backsliding.

But...I'll give it a shot.

I Shall Return (Soonish).

I've been absent a good long while, and the truth is...I haven't really made much of anything, so there wasn't anything to post about. I altered a couple of patterns, but I haven't sewn anything, and the endless sweater is only about three inches longer -- truly nothing exciting.

I am working on a bib for my aunt's baby shower, but I just got the embroidery done, so it's not sewn or photo-ready at this time. I will post something when it is, though.

Until then, I remain...as boring as ever. Later!

I'm Not Duff, But I Already Knew That.

My Step-Dad said he was sick and tired of plain cakes for his birthday, and requested that I make him a cake shaped like a fish that would look all bloody when it was cut open.

I said, and I believe this is a direct quote, "You are on the crack rock."

Turns out that he and Mom have just watched too many episodes of "Ace of Cakes" on the Food Network. And somehow he came to believe that I was capable of creating this fish cake, despite the fact that I have only ever decorated a cake once. Like ever. And it had plastic flowers and toy snakes on it -- it did not require any sort of specialized cake knowledge.

Still, it was all he wanted, and he kept pestering me about it, so there was no escaping the fish cake.

I'm a decent baker, but I just used a red velvet cake mix for this. I figured I would have to put in plenty of work on the outside, so I was just gonna let the inside take care of itself. I baked it, waited for it to cool, carved out a simple fish cake, covered it in icing, and came to understand that fondant is very, very sticky and difficult to work with. (I also learned that it takes four days for black food coloring gel to come out from under your fingernails. Ew.)

So...in the end it was sort of shaped like a fish, and it was the smooth grey that I had imagined, but other than that it looked sort of stupid to me. My Step-Dad loved it, though!

I'm just going to chock this one up as a "learning experience," and keep baking things that taste good, regardless of whether or not they resemble cartoon animals.

Speaking of Cthulhu...

Can someone please translate this? Because it is awesome.

That is all. Carry on.

Edited to add:
It seems to be Finnish, and the internet translator Lennox found translated it to include such gems as "Everybody extraneous beyond winged crochet spiral" and "no will assimilate mascot Considerably Antique!"

Take that, Engrish! (You can see the full [sort of] translation for yourself here.)

Tick-tock, Clarice.

The holidays are sneaking up on me, and I don't just mean Halloween. No, unfortunately, I mean the ones with the gift-giving.

For people who shop, two months seems like a long time. For those of us who make gifts, it's cold sweat time.

I've been making my Christmas gifts for several years, at first for basic poverty reasons, but later because it was more satisfying. It's easy to find something perfect for that tough giftee if it comes straight from your brain. The mall has limited offerings, but my gifts are limited only by my time and materials. And, you know, gift-making is fun, and it prevents mall-based panic attacks. (Super bonus, right there.) Also, for all of my usual crushing failure, my gifts tend to turn out nicely -- which is a nice boost to the old self-esteem.

Along the way, I found that people really liked my gifts, despite my initial worries that people would think I was cheap. Most people are really touched that I've taken the time to do something personal, regardless of how fancy the actual item is.

But I have no idea what to make people this year. There are so many things I could make that I'm not sure what to do at all. And I'm running out of time.

I've given mostly knitted gifts the last few years, but I started knitting in the summer to finish them in time. This year I think I'd better rely on much faster crafting methods, so I'll probably sew most things. But that only narrows the options a little bit...hats? Flannel scarves? Bags? Cthulhu dolls?

Any suggestions? Help!

Craftoberfest...So Much Fun, It Must Be Repeated.

Man, I wish I had gotten pictures of everyone's projects, but I completely forgot to do it. However, I think I can safely say that everyone had some fun last Saturday -- and some creative success.

Let's see, we had some leather cuff bracelet making, a bunch of shrinky-dinks, my voodoo doll (pictured above), and a perfectly awesome Halloween tree, complete with orange pom-poms and googly eyes!

I think I understand the knitting group phenomenon now. It's just plain fun to sit around and make stuff with other people...

We're definitely going to have to do this again next year.

Craftoberfest!

Tomorrow will be the first ever Craftoberfest. What is Craftoberfest? you must be asking yourself. Well, I don't know, but I think it will involve crafts, and maybe beer.

I'd better figure it out, though, because guests are coming, and they will need snacks. And shrinky-dinks. And felt.

I, ah, probably should have done a little planning before I chose a date and issued invitations. Oh, well! I'll tell you all about it later...